My Living Heart.

My Holdyn, my miracle whom I breathe in daily. How blessed I am (we are) to lay beside our little (big) bundle of love and joy. How much he has grown and changed. From a sweet and snuggly little bobbing nursling to a walking/talking and giggly little boy. Yes, my sweet miracle is becoming each day more like a boy...less and less baby/toddler. Though, I do not wish to rush him away from his toddler like mannerisms and behaiviors...he is finding his own path with our gentle eyes watching (not directing his every move), for he has the capacity, the instincts to do and learn as he needs to.

He is amazing in every way. As I write this I am giddy to head up to bed, to peacefully slumber and snuggle in with my dear one. To hold his sweet hand, to brush his hair ever so gently away from his gentle closed eyelids. I am savoring this all, these long nights, the long summer days of loving my dear boy, playing alongside him and following his lead, singing to him as he so beautifully nurses. It is all so delishous to me, it is all so lovely. Every word he says and how he says it amazes me. How is it that he can count to 10? How is it that he says some of the ABC's? I am amazed by my Holdyn's capacity to remember things he hears (repeating sentences from songs & books).

His love and enthusiasm of music is profound, not just listening but playing instruments. He LOVES drums & cymbols, guitar, piano etc. Any instrument he is near he is compelled to play it with gusto (we set up a snare drum and cymbal, as well as my guitar available for him to play). Amazing!

Holdyn makes me feel like I can do anything. He is pushing me to consider doing things that I had sort of "put on hold", like my artwork. He is showing me how important it is for him to build relationships with other's, something that took me a long time to feel OK with. Even now there are only a few who I am comfortable enough to leave Holdy with for an hour or so, and it's still hard for me to walk away...

I really don't like not being with him ALL THE TIME. There is so much love within me for my child, and I don't want to miss anything he does.