Erin, I'm here thinking of you constantly and wishing things were different for you and not the hard slog it is. 7 months is such a long, long time for you to be without Birdie. For me, time is the only thing that made any difference in grieving. Time didn't heal all wounds but it helped in small ways. I keep saying to myself, it's not long now before Erin TTC again, and that fills me with hope. You're never too far from my thoughts. xClare
I think if you thought you were fully healed you would be forgetting Birdie. I could be very wrong... but if that's the case then no, you should never be fully healed. It's been 21 years since my sister lost her one year old. Life did go on... but her daughter of course never forgotten, same with my other sister and her son. I don't think anyone ever, ever would want to forget their child just because they are not in sight. Forgetting would be impossible anyways. But I think I can understand the healing and time thing with my losses. It seems so unbelievable and unbearable to not have them on my mind every second and then some. Never thought it would ever happen, never thought it could happen. I'm glad you write about your Birdie, I'm hoping it helps you, I'm glad to know Birdie as much as I do thanks to you.
Erin, I know it seems quiet and you miss your Birdie desperately. Are you still planning to try again soon? When Birdie's little brother/sister comes along, you'll wonder where all the quiet went, trust me! Your house will be total chaos. But even in those noisy times to come, Birdie will still be in your heart.
I am sorry this was such a hard week for you. It is too long. And as far as I can tell, there is no way to fully heal from this. And neither do I want to.
6 comments:
Erin, I'm here thinking of you constantly and wishing things were different for you and not the hard slog it is. 7 months is such a long, long time for you to be without Birdie. For me, time is the only thing that made any difference in grieving. Time didn't heal all wounds but it helped in small ways. I keep saying to myself, it's not long now before Erin TTC again, and that fills me with hope. You're never too far from my thoughts.
xClare
I think if you thought you were fully healed you would be forgetting Birdie. I could be very wrong... but if that's the case then no, you should never be fully healed. It's been 21 years since my sister lost her one year old. Life did go on... but her daughter of course never forgotten, same with my other sister and her son. I don't think anyone ever, ever would want to forget their child just because they are not in sight. Forgetting would be impossible anyways. But I think I can understand the healing and time thing with my losses. It seems so unbelievable and unbearable to not have them on my mind every second and then some. Never thought it would ever happen, never thought it could happen. I'm glad you write about your Birdie, I'm hoping it helps you, I'm glad to know Birdie as much as I do thanks to you.
Erin, I know it seems quiet and you miss your Birdie desperately. Are you still planning to try again soon? When Birdie's little brother/sister comes along, you'll wonder where all the quiet went, trust me! Your house will be total chaos. But even in those noisy times to come, Birdie will still be in your heart.
my heart will never be fully healed, and i don't want it to be.
I know what you mean all too well. I wish I didn't know. I wish you didn't know.
Thinking of you all...
I am sorry this was such a hard week for you. It is too long. And as far as I can tell, there is no way to fully heal from this. And neither do I want to.
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