The Good News
It seemed as though the day would never come that I would be able to share with all of you that we had been blessed once again. Alas, the day did come and we are so thrilled. Of course we are a little nervous with all that we now know. However, we cannot allow our worry to consume us. All that we can do is enjoy this beautiful miracle, love this baby as we love Birdie and be thankful for what we have right now, today. Thank you for your kind words of congratulations...I am trying very hard to accept the congratulations. At times it seems like that word should be saved until after the baby is actually here, alive. Please don't think me ungrateful, I am, your all so sweet.
I have been trying to upload the recording of the babies heart beat that we have, but blogger doesn't seem to like it.
So, here we are again. Pregnant and trying to be positive. Hopeful for the future, hopeful for the LIVE birth of this child. I have to be optimistic about this pregnancy otherwise I feel like I will go crazy. I know that it's going to be really hard at times to be positive, but I promise to keep trying, being and living this way. I do feel good about this pregnancy and I AM going to try and trust this baby. I just have to for me, for Matt and for the baby. I want to see the light at the end of this long and treacherous tunnel. I need to feel and think that we will get to meet this baby in life.
Therefore, I understand if some of you might not want to hang around and read this blog. I know that for some the road has been too bumpy, and too scary. That perhaps my optimism about our subsequent pregnancy might be too much.
25 comments:
Erin, I'm so happy I clicked on your link again after so long & discovered you were unprivate. I just read your good news and I am so thrilled for you, Sweet Birdie I'm sure helped bless you with this. Though we are all so excited for your new baby, Birdie will never be far from our hearts!
Just like the nanny- I was so happy to click on your link and find that your blog was no longer private and to read your wonderful news!! I thought of you and Matt and Birdie on her birthday and I'm glad you had a nice day despite the sadness of missing Birdie.
Congratulations on making Birdie a big sister!!
Oh Erin, hope is never too much. Never.
I patiently wait optimistically with you on this journey.
xoxo
Leigh
PS I wrote a tiny little piece about you on my blog. :)
Just try and stay in the moment, if you can. You have a sweet, happy baby swimming around in there!
Many blessings for an uneventful pregnancy and birth.
-meg
I said it before, and I will say it again- I am so, so happy for you!
After my 3 losses, and losing the fetus that was alongside Blake, I had a hard time enjoying my pregnancy. I had even semi-prepared that I would never bring a live baby home. I had to eventually take it one day at a time, and learn to love and enjoy my pregnancy. Instead of trying to detach myself. I hope you are able to enjoy your pregnancy, and not dwell on the worst-case scenarios. :) Congrats again, Erin. You deserve this more than anyone else I know. (((hugs)))
I think your attitude is great Erin!! Of course you won't every forget what you all went through with Birdie but I don't believe one birth necesarilly has to do with another one when it comes to giving birth unless there is something known about the mom. From what I know about Birdie's birth that wasn't the case. You have every chance as anyone to give birth to a healthy little one. I so remember how I worried when I was pregnant, with my 2nd I had a 50/50 chance of carrying him and had many problems I never thought I'd see a healthy baby. I'm just saying once in a while it's hard not to worry but yes, I think you will have a live healthy little one!!!;) I'm just sooooo happy for you all!!!
Personally, I think it's absolutely wonderful that you're being optimistic and feeling good about this pregnancy. I can't do that for myself, but I admire others who can.
When did you find out? Before or after Birdie's day? I think that you give hope to a lot of people :)
xoxo
Meg
I am so happy for you and wish you the best! I look foward to continuing reading your blog!
I couldn't and didn't want to hear the c word. Because I do still believe that's for when we bring the live baby home. But I am so impressed you can let yourselves be optimistic. I am not there yet, and don't know that I will be. I am letting go on the love, but optimism seems like too much still. So I am very impressed with you.
Loads of good luck for you.
holy crap that is fantastic news. i've been checking for a few months waiting to hear this news. so happy for you. well it will be a long and scary road but you've got to start somehwere. and here you are. 10 1/2 weeks already!! easy for me to say "already." it's a mixed bag, the subsequent pregnancy. but there will be so many moments of joy. you know you might as well just go ahead and fall completely in love. there is no way to protect oneself. it's a leap of faith. i, for one, will be with you, hoping and trusting.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!! I was hoping to hear this for a while now. I love and miss you both.
amy
Congratulations Erin to you and Matt. I've been expecting this post this month ;o)
It's scary but I think the amazing things in life are.
K x
So awesome to hear this! Congrats to you both! I know even after our loss 4 yrs ago I am still extremely cautious with every pregnancy. I am about a week ahead of you with our 5th! (11 wks, 6 days!) Hugs!
Erin, i am so happy for you and Matt. This is wonderful news. I will not say the C word but i am sending happy thoughts and smiles your way. :)))
I am so glad you are optimistic and so glad you have been blessed again, erin.
That is great news. Congrats. I am sooooo glad for you. I hope you can allow yourself to be optimistic.
I have been too afraid to comment before now for fear of causing you pain. I hope this is the right time.
I had my baby in July '07. I was going to have a home birth but I read Birdie's story and reconsidered. My son ended up being a face presentation that I could not have pushed out on my own. You and Birdie probably saved his life. Thank you, and I wish you all the joy and peace in the world.
I just learned about your story yesterday and I was awake until 1am reading each post -- and then I scooped up my kids, brought them into bed, and watched them sleep. Thank you for sharing your story and images.
I wish you lots of happiness and a downright boring pregnancy and birth!
I am absolutely thrilled for you and yours. I am so excited to watch this pregnancy blossom!
If there is anything that make sense about the universe, this might be it. When do bird sing their brightest songs? In the spring of course. How wonderful that the returning robins brought with them a new life for you.
Some cultures believe that the spirit of one who passes lives on in a relative conceived soon after. Do you suppose Birdie was waiting for the spring and her "earth" day to give you such joy?
Would you be willing to share the story of how you found out you were expecting?
All the best of wishes!
Hi Erin,
Once again I had to comment on how happy I am for you to hear this news. I've been reading your blog for awhile, and I thank you again for letting me continue to read while you had it marked private. I have been hoping for so long to hear that you were expecting again. This is a great chance for you and Matt to continue the healing process. Not that you will ever forget Birdie, I know you will continue to honor her place in your lives forever. I know that you will bring home a beautiful child, and will tell him/her Birdies story too.
And Erin, hope is a beautiful thing. Don't ever let that go. I will continue to follow your story, and wish wonderful things for you.
<3!!!
Optimism and happiness are GOOD things. Enjoy those feelings whenever you have them. And if there comes a day when you're feeling frightened or sad...we'll be here to help you hang onto the happiness and optimism. OK?
Much love to you all! {{{hugs}}}
Erin--I hadn't read your blog since those horrible comments you got shortly after Birdie's passing and birth, but something made me click on you from someone's sidebar and lo, the good news came without my having been reading to notice. But I've been smiling for the past twelve hours just thinking about you and your sweet husband and all of the love the two of you will have for this new little life. I also saw the tattoos you got, and I like the mental picture of your new child looking up at his/her sister's name through drowsing eyelids as they nurse to sleep. Congratulations, lady. Also, I have hypothyroid (I take Armour Thyroid, which you as a vegetarian probably would not, but my Endo feels it is more natural and easier on the body to absorb and I'm on a metric butt-load of other drugs), and when it was discovered I was told I'd probably had it for years, which would by default include my entire last pregnancy (which ended in a take-home baby). So there's that--I realize one anecdotal success story does not a huge reassurance make, but I am optimistic for you that your pesky thyroid won't harm this new baby. Did you know that the main reason hypothyroidism is taken so seriously in pregnancy AFTER the first trimester is that the baby will actually develop an extra-LARGE thyroid if it is not treated in the mama? That's right, the BABY will produce enough thyroid hormones for themself AND the mama, and exchange them through the placenta, in a symbiotic manner I find really interesting and kind of cool (although of course it is less than desirable to birth a child with a goiter--my youngest did NOT have one). I won't tell you congratulations since I know how tenuous your optimism toward this new pregnancy is, but I WILL say that I'll be thinking of you and checking back every day until I get to see a picture of you proudly holding and nursing your LIVE, SCREAMING BABY.
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