Farther and Farther Away...
I don't have much to say today. I think that if I wrote a whole lot today I would just be repeating myself, echoing my words from yesterday.
One thing that I just cannot shake is the amount of time that has somehow just slipped by. We are 8 months away from our girl...8 MONTHS! How many days is that? Hours? Minutes? Seconds? I am too exhausted to take the time and figure that out.
Its been a long time since I had a dream about Birdie. I don't know, so much time has passes, but yet it seems like it was just yesterday we held her and cried. Our tears, our warm tears dripping upon her cold, soft stillborn skin.
4 comments:
I haven't commented in a while, Birdie's Mama, but I wanted to tell you that I do think about you and your beautiful baby girl often. I think about how sad you are, yet how very much love you will forever have for Birdie--and how even in the short time she was with you inside you, she never knew anything but such love. Birdie will always be pure, she will always be innocent. She will never know sadness or hate, jealousy or grief. She will always be full of love.
One more thing: talk, if you need to. We'll read, we'll care and we'll always love. It doesn't matter if you're repeating over and over. If it helps to get it out, get it out. We're here for you.
After M died, time just seemed to warp itself. It seems like a long, long time since I held M, a long, long time to be without him. But when I think it has been 2 years almost, and people think I am so much *better*, I think they are crazy, it hasn't been that long since I lost my heart, how can I be *better*?
I think of you often. We were due two days apart. We both planned birth at home. Our babies were born one day apart. My son lived. I cherish each moment with my son, and I hope it does not sound crass to tell you that it is a gift that you and Bridie have given to me, a stranger. I know with vivid clarity just how precious each moment is in this world. How quickly my son could be taken from me. I did not visit you blog until 9 March and then I learned of your sorrow. I wept.
I wish for you peace.
I think of you often.
MM
Write what you need to write. We're listening.
It's been eight months for me, too.
Sometimes, I can't believe that it was so long ago because the grief is still so fresh.
But sometimes I'm amazed that it's been only eight months - because it feels like I've always been grieving and I've had another loss since.
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