I remember how I felt this time last year....HAPPY! I was so happy, and I had a happy baby moving and kicking me, and I had a happy husband who loved to kiss my belly and his child within that belly.This year I am not so happy. I am filled with grief, and I miss the baby that was within me. She kept me so warm all fall and winter long. Now I am back to being cold through the fall and winter. Wow, how fast things can change.....
Life has been changed for us forever. What a bizarre realm we live in now....its like an altered state, a completely different universe with the universe. A place that so many people don't understand and will never understand (unless they have had a loss). This other realm of reality and living does get easier with time, I guess. I feel sort of weird saying that because it's not totally that things are getting easier for us. Things are different, and they change from day to day. Maybe this makes no sense whatsoever....my life makes no sense anymore, I am just doing all of these things that really don't matter. I am doing all of these things, when all I really want to be doing is mothering my child.
4 comments:
I hope that you can find some peace. Sincerely, Chris
That is a very beautiful picture. You were, and will be again, a gorgeous pregnant woman.
Peace to you, sweetie.
I love this picture. Your making sense, at least to me. It is a completely different universe. When I think of my life before my loss, it's almost as if I am looking at a strangers life. It doesn't seem familiar to me anymore. I always tell people, it doesn't really get easier, you just learn to live with not so easy.
Hi,
I've been reading your blog for a while, firstly I want to say how sorry I am that you don't have your beautiful Birdie with you. The picture on this post just struck me and made me go back through my pregnancy photos. You look so beautiful pregnant, in hindsight I realize how much pregnancy suited me too. I forgot how big my bump got with Jacob.
Thank you for your post, its hard to look at my photos but I'm glad I did.
C x
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