Somehow all the many words that I want to say lately here are escaping me. I'm not sure why this is happening because it feels so good to just get everything out through words. I have been enjoying each day of this blessed pregnancy, and our little bunny is definitely starting to do some thumping. Every few days feeling this baby becomes more pronounced, and I am more assured of this new little life that lives within me. Its a glorious feeling, this baby is a miracle. This next week at the end of the week I will be 21 weeks. I will be 21 weeks and if am to go to 40 weeks it will be 19 weeks until this baby could be born. However, I hope that from the 21 week point that there will only be 17 or so weeks to go. I don't want to sound like a broken record, but I just don't want to go anywhere near 40 weeks.
Anyways, I am going to start posting up photos everyday I hope. I got a new camera, a digital SLR (I had been holding out for years on this!). I felt like it was time, as I need to be taking many more photos than I had been and with this camera I will be able to. Not that I will stop using my medium format camera, but it just takes me so long to get down to the lab to drop off and pick up my film. So, I hope you like the photos. Feel free to comment and critique!
6 comments:
Beautiful photos. I love the one at the bottom, it looks so serene and inviting.
And you don't sound like a broken record, just a concerned parent, which is a GOOD thing.
Congrats on the new camera, and what a GORGEOUS shot of that stream! Erin, you are finally starting to look REALLY pregnant (belly aside, up until this shot of you I've thought "wow she looks totally normal but with a little pot-belly" but in this one I can tell by your FACE, which I am known among friends for being able to do from very early in a pregnancy)! Yay! Love the birdies, too, of course.
If it comes down to it and your nerves can't take it toward the end of the pregnancy, talk to your OBGYN or midwives about it. That happened to me in my third pregnancy--I had preterm labor and was hospitalized for portions of all three of my pregnancies, and my first two babies had to go to the NICU step-down unit because they were early (35w1d and 35w6d respectively). With the third, after multiple stretches in the antenatal high-risk unit, I somehow found myself at home, still pregnant, with everyone staring at me at 36 weeks (both times before I was told to stop the anti-labor drugs earlier--at 35 weeks the first time and the second time not until the day I had the baby because I'd been in the hospital for so long and had been contracting every two minutes for over twenty-four hours and was miserable, and my OBGYN decided that maybe my body knew something we didn't and it was just TIME). The third time I argued with my doctor to leave me on the drugs (I was not contracting as much) until 36 weeks so the baby would have a better shot at getting to stay with me at birth, so my mom flew in the day before 36 weeks and the next day I stopped the meds and then...we all sat around for two weeks while NOTHING HAPPENED. Finally at 38 weeks I went in for a NST that was fine, but I broke down in tears and told my doctor I was just so so scared that something was wrong with this baby and that my body had never gone this far before and I was terrified that we had suppressed the labor at the time I usually went and now something bad might happen. My third baby was a real "miracle baby" to me because we'd decided after two that another pregnancy just wasn't a good idea (I was given 50/50 odds of getting another one to viability and couldn't bear the idea of a late-second-trimester loss) and my husband had a vasectomy.
Two months later instead of getting his SA test he got me pregnancy with a VERY DETERMIEND AND HARDY SPERM that was still left (his urologist explained to each of us in turn that they only live for 72 hours OUTSIDE the male body but that they can live for MONTHS if they are still INSIDE there, and he had the SA after my positive pregnancy test and still had five whole sperm, ha ha ha), and I was SO HAPPY. I had so wanted at least one more but decided to think with my head and not my heart, so it was like the universe had said "here, for once you get what you WANT" and I was TERRIFIED that something would happen to this baby and I would never get another chance.
I was so distraught that my OBGYN said "here, look, it's not good for you to be this miserable, I just had somebody cancel their induction tomorrow due to a family emergency--if I induce you tomorrow do you think you can go home and get a good night's sleep?" And I said yes and I did and she did and the labor got a little dramatic (they started to wheel me toward the OR and then the baby's heart rate jumped back up) My doctor said "you're a good pusher, I'm giving you ONE CONTRACTION" and cut an episiotomy (I was furious about that--it was my first and NOT in my birth plan--until my doctor showed me the tracing from the monitor from two minutes before the baby came--she had bumped it with her hip when they rolled the bed back into place deliberately so I wouldn't see "60" where it had bottomed out before coming back to 140 and freak out and not push well) and I pushed with every fiber of my being and the baby shot out, with a loose but unmistakeable true KNOT in the umbilical cord that could have tightened at ANY TIME. The special care people took the baby for a moment but with APGARs of 8 and 9 I got my little bundle back and was breastfeeding my "miracle baby," who took to the breast immediately, while my doctor stitched me up. I really do think my body somehow KNEW that that baby had to come out--I was pretty near hysterics at the doctor's office that day because I just had the WORST FEELING, and my induction went too fast for a working epidural to even be placed--less than three hours after I checked into Labor and Delivery I was nursing my pink, vigorous baby, the first of my children to come out screaming the way you want them to and able to breastfeed within the first crucial half-hour.
Listen to your body, and remember: your doctor will hopefully listen to you and understand how fearful you are of going the full 40 weeks after what happened to your family before. I honestly think that it is only because I broke down and evoked my doctor's sympathy that I have my youngest with me today. I can't wait to see pictures of you finally getting to do what I finally got to do--hold and nurse your nice, healthy LIVE baby!
De-lurking here...
Great pics...which SLR did you get?
You look very peaceful :)
Janya
Great pictures! Yes, i had the same question as janya, which SLR did you get? I want one myself, just can't seem to spend the money...
Love it all, and you
xox
What camera did you get? Are you coming to Fearless Finishing?
Post a Comment