PLEASE EMAIL THIS BITCH AND ASK HER TO REMOVE OUR BLOG FROM HER ANTI HOMEBIRTH SITE!!!!!
In the past day I have learned that this woman Dr. Amy Tuteur HER SITE decided that it was just fine to post our blog for Birdie on her stupid ass website. I am so upset, so sad and heartbroken that she has done this. She refuses to remove the link and I don't know what to do. This is absolutely rediculous. This blog used to be a lovely, quiet, peaceful place for me to write out my feelings and now it has been stomped on
and I am not strong enough to keep this up.
This woman doesn't agree she is disrespecting the memory of Birdie by her actions. Yes, this is the stupid internet, simple made up of 1'sssssss and 0'sssssss.
However this blog, our blog is not here for debate about what happened, nor is this a blog meant for people like her to post a link to to scare other women who might be considering homebirth. I still believe in homebirth for women and babies. I do. This was a rare thing that happened. This is a private matter that I have entrusted to you
other mommies out there. You have been so sweet and comforting. I need your help to save this blog, because I will remove it very soon if that troll of a doctor does not remove her link ASAP. I so desperately want to keep this memorium for Birdie alive and continue to share my grief, my love for her and my family with you all, but things are rediculously out of control and for no reason at all.
Her resonse to my email plead:
"Publishing a story on a blog is like publishing it in a newspaper.
Unless you password protect your blog, you cannot control who reads it
or discusses it.
I am very sorry for your terrible loss, and I am sorry that you think
that mentioning your public posting on my blog is disrespectful to her
memory. I believe that it is important for people contemplating
homebirth to understand what can really happen. I don't presume to
offer you advice, and that is why I did not post on your blog. As I
wrote in my original post, you can read what I and others write on my
blog or you can completely ignore it. It seems reasonable to expect
that people who write on your blog will offer only supportive
comments, but does not seem reasonable to expect that if you publicly
broadcast your story to millions of people around the world, no one
else is allowed to comment on it."
Sincerely,
Amy Tuteur
Her email: dramy5@aol.com
She's so sincere...don't ya think?
erin, Birdie's Mama......posted on Mothers Day, May 13th 2007
18 comments:
It isn't the first time Amy has posted links without permission. She has removed links when other health care professionals have asked her to out of respect for their patients, so I don't see why she won't show you the same respect. She made up a claim about a home birth death being discussed on a blog but not posting until she got permission to do so (and I couldn't find said blog on the internet, no matter how much searching I did using the criteria she provided)... Funny how the same rules don't apply here.
I am truly, truly sorry that Amy is using your loss to further her own agenda. On her other blog, she details how she threatened to break one of her patient's arms when they didn't do what she wanted them to, which should give you an idea of the kind of person she is. It beggars belief that at such a time, people insist on passing judgement instead of allowing you to grieve in whatever manner you feel is most appropriate.
I suggest you lodge a formal complaint with Blogger. With any luck, Amy's disgusting actions will see her blog put out of business.
i would go password protected for the time being, and file a complaint. you need to grieve right now, not fight.
i'm sorry your daughters death has brought all of these assholes to your door.
peace, korin
I am so sorry she is using you to promote her personal views. Birdies memory does not deserve to be used in this way.
Let me know if you want help moving your blog over to a private domain where you can control who can see your site and the content on it. I'd be happy to host you and help you get established for free.
Your memorial to Birdie is a beautiful thing, I would be sad to see it disappear from the internet.
Email me: s@littleliberals.com
one last thing... i know your heart is broken and aching on this mother's day. but remember, you are, and always will be birdie's mother. no one can take that from you.
peace.
Erin, I am so sorry that you are having to deal with these stupid people. Maybe it would help if you turned the comment option off for a while?
I posted this comment on her site:
So by your logic... After the doctors a the hospital where my son was born misused their equipment and listened to MY heartbeat instead of my son's and were prepared to rush me for a crash c-section with general anesthesia which poses a TREMENDOUS risk to the baby.... Had done so, and my son had suffered from it.. It would have been MY fault because I chose to labor at the hospital knowing that hospitals have certain safety issues.
By your logic, if my son had come down with one of the many bacterial infections that are present in hospitals... Again, my fault because I'm aware of the antibiotic resistant bacteria that lives in hospitals.
By your logic, if one of the many tragic accidents that can happen in a hospital.. Like the woman whose baby ended up with permanent brain damage after a doctor gave the mother an injection to her perenium.. And the needle went through the baby's soft spot.. Or the other mother that died after an over-worked labor and delivery nurse gave her epidural medication... THROUGH AN IV... Again, that would be my fault because I'm aware that these accidents happenf requently in hospitals because doctors and nurses are over-worked.
The death rates of homebirth and hospital birth are nearly identical. Sometimes hospitals are safer, sometimes homes are safer. Unless a pregnancy is high-risk you can't tell which option is going to be safer ahead of time.
To post this woman's story on your blog WITHOUT her permission, and to use her baby's death to promote your own views.. Is reprehensible.
She is no more responsible for the death of her darling baby girl than I would be for the death of my son if he had not survived the hospital birth and all the associated interventions and problems.
Please have some tact and respect her request for you to remove your links to her memorial.
Erin,
I am so very sorry that all of this is being heaped on top of everything else that you are trying to deal with right now.
This woman, and the others who have left awful comments, is heartless. It is a wonder that she is a doctor.
Trying to hide behind her agenda and saying that this is a public blog are just lame excuses for vile, evil actions. This is your private blog and it is clear to me that you are not trying to convert people toward home birth. If anything, your blog gives a very real account to what birth can mean. Anyone with a brain in their head who reads your blog, the comments, links to the other loss blogs, etc. will realize that ALL pregnancies and births carry risk.
She and some of the commenters on her blog try to say that you and your *supporters* are delusional. Yet I think we are the farthest thing from delusional. We have experienced very real loss, there is nothing more real than that. And yes, we are here to support you--because that is what you need.
Your blog should be a place where you feel safe to write whatever you need to write. And it needs to be a place where you feel that Birdie is honored. It sucks so badly that these evil people could make you have to move your blog, or make it password protected. If this is what you need to do, though, then I think it would be far better than taking the blog down.
Oh this makes me so sad and angry for you.
Erin, I am sorry this keeps happening. I left a long comment there telling her to stop harassing you. I think that if she doesn't, filing a complaint with Blogger is a good idea.
Hang on.
I am sad this 'woman' is being so blind. This is your blog to express yourself during a sad time and her interference is indicative of her thoughtlessness and lack of sensitivity and even lack of intelligence. I agree with the others, maybe consider restricting comments and lodging a complaint?
Your tribute to Birdie is beautiful. She can't taint that.
Sending you hugs all the way from Down Under.
Erin,
I have come here via basilbean but have been here on occasion even before this. I am so sorry for your loss and believe your tribute to your lovely Birdie is utterly breathtaking.
I have been blogging in the IF/loss community for over 2 years and as far as I recall, yours is the first loss (I have read of) which occurred in a homebirth setting.
To pick your tragedy out as an example of the 'typical' risks of homebirth just doesn't calculate in loss circles.
I love the birth you chose and the motivation for it. I love that you stand by your convictions regarding homebirth. That woman is crass and evil. I'm heading over there to leave a message for the vulture to chew on.
Peace to you. I really do hope you don't have to hide Birdie away.
This is so interesting that so much hate it comming from hospital advocates, no? Doesn't it make you just want to run to your nearest hospital to put your life in their hands? They are doing more to advocate homebirth then they realize.
Erin, Happy Mother's Day. You have a beautiful baby girl who was perfect in every way, and you gave her brief life the best everything. Please know that you have been a wonderful Mama to her.
Kerry
Erin,
I understand why you wouldn't want to password protect but you might consider it, if Amy Tuteur and others don't leave you alone. It is unfortunate that this sort of thing seems to happen often on blogs where sensitive topics are discussed (most recently NeoNatalDoc's blog) and people fail to use a bit of judgement and compassion when choosing their words. Dr. Amy (in my limited experience) is less vitrolic than some but that may not be saying much ;) I still hope that she will choose to withdraw her link to your blog, though.
Hi Erin--
I got here via Little Liberals. I just wanted to say that I am so, so sorry for the loss of little Birdie. And I am very very sorry that the Medicalized Birth people are using you for their agenda. As I'm a meat-eater and my kids were born in hospitals, one could assume that I would be on the 'other side'. I just wanted you to know that I'm not, that if you're mentally keeping a list of supporters, please add my name in 36 pt letters & all caps.
Erin it makes me sick that people like this use others tragities to further there own quest for what they believe is the truth. I think it is horrible that you have been a target for insensitive and cruel people. I found your blog and from the time I started reading, it broke my heart about your sweet birdie. She is truely one of the most beautiful babys I have seen. Good luck to you and your family, my prayers are with you.
Erin,
First off, I support you 100% in your decisions for the birth of Birdie. I know of many successful homebirths with amazing outcomes for both mom and baby. I, personally, would not choose a homebirth because of my inability to progress during labor. I have had 3 labors, all of them resulting in the use of Pitocin, which lead to an epidural because of the excruciating nature of synthetically induced contractions.
I think the reason why so many people take up issues with your little to no "medical" (Doctoral/hospital) intervention views, is that it goes against the grain of common belief. The truth is that bad things happen to really good people whether it be at home or in the hospital. To be perfectly honest, I think that the people flaming the medical community are just as bad that people flaming homebirth activists. It's a personal decision that I don't think anyone takes lightly. I wish that both sides would take it to the debate boards and leave your name AND blog out of it.
I really don't want you to have to shut down your blog. The truth is, is that I come here everyday! When I heard about what happened to you, I fell to my knees and sobbed. It was the strangest feeling to have a love and sadness for a baby I had never met or had anything to do with. But you're family, and that means that someone in my family died and that was really hard. Your blog has helped heal my heart, and has made me a less judgmental person. I know this blog is about you, and Matt, and Birdie...but I guess I need it too.
Loving thoughts and prayers,
Meagan
Erin, My heart breaks even more that people are continuing to misuse your blog in this way. I so hope you won't close down this blog, but will understand if you do. It has been a beautiful tribute to Birdie, and she, Matt, and you do not deserve this ugliness.
Much love, Sara
Erin, I am so sorry for all that these mean people have put you through! Please know that you, Matt and Birdie are in my thoughts and I am sorry that they have tried to ruin this beautiful memorial for her!
Sending love and healing your way!
-Alison
She is a clueless BITCH. Period.
I hope everyone will flag her blog as offensive and complain about her practices.
I am sorry I have not seen this happening until today, I have been out of town and in my own world. My heart and thoughts are with you Erin.
Much love and peace.
Bleu
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