TWO MORE COMMENTS FROM HER!
"The decision to have a home birth in the US is NOT MADE WITH THE APPROVAL OF ANY REPUTABLE MEDICAL AUTHORITY but by those women with anti-medical political agendas. OK, have a home birth--but know you are playing Russian Roulette with your life, and the life of your baby. You cannot be forced to give birth in a hospital; there are no laws mandating hospital birth, just as you can choose to drink bleach. In just about every state there are no laws about home schooling--but it doesn't mean your homeschooled child is educated.
You might be interested in today's blog entry in NHSBlogDoctor."
Posted by Antigonos to Vegetarian Mom with A Vegan Baby on da Way at 4:16 AM
"You want to talk about EVIL? Choosing a method of birth that puts a baby at undue risk is EVIL. You can flame me all you like--ANYONE WHO CHOOSES TO AVOID MEDICALLY ACCEPTABLE PRACTICES ON BEHALF OF A HELPLESS PERSON IS GUILTY OF MANSLAUGHTER.
Of course babies die in hospital! But not for "unknown" reasons.
As for my being a horrible midwife, who "instills fear" into her patients, well, the wall full of commendations from my mothers (some of whom are second generation patients now) belies that accusation. Also the fact that never once has a patient either sued me, or even complained about my care.
Thank you, Erin, for publicizing my email address. Another totally irresponsible act on your part."
25 comments:
I've ripped that evil woman a few new assholes today in your honor. I didn't need her email address, she linked to her own Blogger, friggin DUH.
I lost my own daughter this year to anencephaly. Why did it happen? I eat a healthy diet and I took my vitamins faithfully. The answer is this: It makes no sense. Neither does the loss of Birdie.
I don't at all know what you are going through, but know that you are not alone in your grief. Any woman with a scrap of decency is grieving with you.
xo
I don't know why women continue to not support each other. You are harder on yourself than any hate filled reader of your blog, she doesn't need to add to the guilt you already feel.
When I worked outside the home (in a call center), before I had kids, I use to look at the working mom as this woman who felt entitled extra time off for her kid's activities and illnesses. Who was left at work to answer the calls she wasn't answering? ME! Now that I am at home I read about this working mom vs. stay at home mom battle that rages.. in 2007! My point is, why can't woman support each other? This is clearly a judgmental woman wanting to spu her hateful views and hide behind the anonymity the internet offers. As we get older and in different phases of our lives we should be able to look at other woman and the choices they make and be understanding and supportive. Keep your chin up and know that Birdie is sending lovely women your way. Woman who are sending you only positive energy, well-wishes and love. That is just one person, concentrate not on her but all of us that love you and wish to honor the memory of OUR Birdie.
Dear Erin,
I just wanted to let you know that I wish I could be near you to be able to provide some support during these dreadful times you are going through. I am entirely on your side. I am disgusted at the message I have just read from this despicable person who calls herself midwife. She should be banned from a job that requires any type of human contact. I am Vegan, 37+2 pregnant and actively planning a home birth, all with the support of my midwives and local Hospital (London UK). I could not be healthier, and in fact I probably wouldn't if I wasn't Vegan. People like this woman and ignorant insensitive and blatantly stupid. I am sure you know this, but I am also sure her hurtful comments really distressed you. I wish you find the strength and determination to cope with such terrible tragedy.
Love,
I've only visited here a few times, but I just want to express my support. You are right to reject the hateful woman's accusations. She has no right to speak and there must be something very wrong inside her for her to come to your sacred space and fling garbage like that around.
I agree with your words in an earlier post, this can't be because of God. And I believe in God, I really do, but it just doesn't make sense. Terrible, terrible thing happen that don't make any sense. I admire your honesty and courage to say that this is not "what was meant to be." People may use those words to comfort us in times of loss, but they are empty in moments like the one you are in.
I have not written to this woman mainly because I do not want to give her the attention she so clearly craves. She acts as though she is upset at having her email address out there, and yet it was always available by virtue of her profile. She is simply trying to appear credible, and as though she has done nothing wrong, and again putting the fault on you.
If I could though, this is the point I would want to make to her. Yes, Antiginos, if you are reading-this is for you. Eat it up. The point is that you brought a hostile and callous viewpoint onto the personal blog of a grieving mother. She did not invite your perspective, she did not ask for it. And even if you do strongly believe in the danger of homebirths, your sensibilities as a human being should have prevented you from bullying your way into this woman's life. If you are really so intelligent (as you clearly think you are), or really so competent, you would have read this woman's story, and kept your thoughts to yourself. How you can convince yourself that your words have not been hateful and thoughtless, is beyond me. You've made your despicable point, now go away. That is the only possible way you can prove that you have even the slightest degree of compassion or character.
I am absolutely disgusted by this women. Looking at her picture makes me sick to my stomach. I am so sorry that you have this person doing that to you, it's inexcusable.
dearest erin,
i am so appalled that this woman, who does not know you or has seen your medical information, wrote such insensitive things on your blog. you did what you felt was best for YOU and for Birdie. i know
how amazingly dedicated you are to what you believe in and know that if you felt strongly about having a homebirth for birdie, then it was 100% right.
i know i can't completely know what you are going through, but it is such a tragedy what has happened. the answer may not be known now, but please do not regret or blame yourself for your choices. i do believe everything happens for a reason - even if sometimes the reason takes a while to find.
do not think about this antigogo (or whatever her name is - it even has a negative word in it -anti). in time, she will be judged in the same measure she judges others. her bad karma will come back around. it is unfortunate for her, but this is what she asks of the universe by saying things like this.
there is so much love for you, matt and birdie filling up this blog...it is amazing and beautiful.
all who have read birdies story are so lucky that you have found the strength to share it with us. it is through you that we are able to know and feel her enormous and everlasting love.
you are always in my thoughts, my dear friend.
all my love to you,
lisa
what is interesting about Antigonos is though she claims to be against homebirth, she regularly reads my blog.
Whatever. What a drama queen.
Just breathe deep, feel our love, know her anger is about HER and the injustices she is facing in her own work (the oppressed like to oppress others) and how unhappy she is in her life. Her picture shows a profile of a bitter, angry woman. That woman is not worthy of discussing Birdie at all.
Love to you.
Sheeesh, Erin...what a f-ing BITCH. She is one SICK individual to attack you like this. She may disagree with your health care choices but to accuse a grieving mother of manslaughter? I wonder if she treats her patients with as little regard.
“If you had been on intermittent fetal monitoring in a hospital…the drop in heart beat would have been discovered much sooner”
This has already been addressed. Erin stated her midwives assessed fetal heart tones every 15 minutes or so. Low-risk patients in hospitals aren’t monitored any more frequently (some even less). There is absolutely NO evidence that a drop in fetal heart rate would have been detected any sooner.
“Of course babies die in hospital! But not for "unknown" reasons.”
This statement makes me question whether this person truly has the 40 years of experience she claims. Either that or she is seriously deluded to not realize that even in hospitals, babies die of birth-related anoxia of “unknown” etiology.
“I want you to make RESPONSIBLE decisions about childbearing, beginning with eating a NORMAL diet in pregnancy”
Um, excuse me, but what is a NORMAL diet? I haven’t heard of that one. Maybe it’s they type of diet they eat in Jerusalem? Seriously, though, I doubt her patients’ diets would be considered normal by our customs. That does not make them unhealthy. Many cultures have restrictions on what meats/animal products are consumed, even in *gasp* Jerusalum. Last I checked a well-balanced, organic, vegan diet is accepted as a “normal” healthy diet by the medical community. Many of my fellow physicians follow a vegetarian diet of one type or another. That aside, where is the evidence that Erin’s diet had any negative impact on her pregnancy? From the sounds of it, Birdie wasn’t SGA or otherwise malnourished.
“giving birth where medical intervention IF IT IS REQUIRED, is seconds, not minutes or hours, away”
From what Erin has posted, medical intervention was available. Her case was handled appropriately by her midwives. The care she would have received in a hospital would likely not have differed significantly. In fact her midwives might have been MORE vigilant for complications than medical staff in a hospital would have been. She had their full, undivided attention. Nevertheless, even with every medical resource at her disposal, the outcome STILL could have been the same.
“In just about every state there are no laws about home schooling--but it doesn't mean your homeschooled child is educated.”
She is a real know-it-all that really knows nothing about the US, isn’t she? Most US states DO have laws on home schooling and the majority of home schooled children exceed state-mandated educational standards. What does that have to do with childbirth again?
Erin,
You should write her employer. This is just disgraceful behavior on the part of a midwife, no less.
Unbelievable.
I think you should ban her IP address from your site. You don't need this poison. As others have stated, you are hard enough on yourself.
xoxo
You are going through so much, the last thing you need is such evil from that woman. It is dispicable how women feel they need to treat each other in such ways.
Much love & support to you!
Erin,
This is Amanda from Wed. night at B.S.. I am just reading this disgraceful, horrid, painful (and so many other words) message and the previous message before.
I am outraged--how could another human being do this to another human being?
It truly is beyond my comprehension! It is obvious to me that you have a lot of love and support around you which is what matters most.
See you soon
Ok Erin -- I will not repeat what other have said... instead I say "screw the bitch" --
Post her email and blog address EVERYWHERE.... it might not help with your grieving but it will be FUN!!! Don't get mad - get even!
And for that matter I'd write her employer and copy the words she sent to you - they are uncalled for from anyone - especially from a "professional"
Really - you need not give this woman another though - she isn't worth it... she isn't right, she isn't just, she isn't a professional.... she isn't worth it!
I am sorry you are going through this!! All of it!
Hi Sweet Mama,
I'm so sorry for your loss and also, especially for the cruel, heartless and downright wrong comments by someone who, quite frankly doesn't deserve the title midwife. Since when do midwives add insult to grievous injury? She should be ashamed.
You, your loving mate and your sweet Birdie are firmly in my thoughts and prayers.
Xx Louisa
Hi Erin,
My name is Jenn...I followed a link from a friend's blog over here...Your Birdie is beautiful. It IS appaling what this woman has said to you. I have gone back and read your site...as much as my heart could bear...and she's WRONG...you did NOTHING wrong. I have two boys, one born in hospital via c-section and the other, the second, at home. I am so amazed by your strength and your heart. Just shut her out. You deserve so much better than her misguided, obviously unhinged rantings.
J
hi erin,
i'm new to your blog, but wanted to express my condolences for the loss of your sweet child. my heart breaks for you and anyone who has to bear that.
i'm so sorry to hear this woman is stalking and flaming you. she sounds just awful. she obviously doesn't know AT ALL what she is talking about. i know it's hard to ignore ppl like that, but i think she probably thrives off the attention and ignoring her would be best.
big hugs to you, mama.
amygeekgrl
Erin,
You know that I am on your side, girl!
Don't waste another minute thinking about her hurtful words.
You take care!
if we took the time to read through her blogs, we would see that she is just a sad, vindictive, boisterous woman who's got her head so far up her ass. i thought it was disgusting how she had the gall to say anything about your nutrition-rich plant-rich diet, when she is overweight and struggling with food herself.
look at this
"But none seem to address my obesity problem: I eat when I'm not hungry. For three years I went to Overeaters Anonymous and listened to people relate their struggles with binge eating, but I don't binge. Frankly, I don't know what it means to be hungry, most of the time. I just like to eat."
what does she know about food?
and isnt that BINGE EATING!!! dumbass!
and for her to say such cruel things about a momma who clearly, clearly loved her pregnancy and is grieving monstrously, says more about her than any blog or any comment she has written. remarkable.
THANK YOU Erin for publicizing her email address, a TOTALLY responsible thing for you to do. If she feels the right to share her "opinion" with you, we should have the right to share our opinion with her!
if hospital births are the best way to go about it, then ive got alot of questions for her!
Hi Erin,
I'm new to your blog. I found it last night and I've been thinking about you, Matt and Birdie all day. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope writing it is healing for you; it is certainly an act of bravery. She was a beautiful baby girl, and I am so sorry she did't get to grow up.
I'm glad others have told you that you did nothing wrong by Bertie. You made decisions that you felt were her best interests. That's what parents do, and you are a great mama. That troll has no business bothering you at this time; she clearly has issues of her own to deal with.
Sending gentle healing vibes your way...
You've been in and out of my thoughts since I found your blog via sage femme (whom I adore) and I am shocked to come back here and find that she had the gall to come back (probably to see what kind of response her hateful spew recieved and for no other reason...), but to post MORE hate!
Antago-nist,
You are no midwife. You are barely human. No care provider would be so cutthroat as to attack a grieving mother in this manner. She has a right to expect that she be treated with respect. You do a disservice.. no, you are a carbuncle on the name "midwife". You have no right. How do you go home at night and think that what you've said made any positive impact whatsoever? I hope that you are not so cruel and paternalistic with your own patients when they do something you think isn't right, but somehow I doubt that is true. I don't know if you have it in you to have compassion. Where did you lose your humanity? Do everyone a favor and find someone else to harrass, or better yet, get some fucking therapy.
I was asked to comment here and, without reading the other comments, because I work hard to keep my mind free of negative and hateful words and images, I want to offer these words.
I HIGHLY encourage you to read The Four Agreements.
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
2. Don't Take Anything Personally
3. Don't Make Assumptions
4. Always Do Your Best
This person attacking you clearly has issues *and* has a right to her opinion. While she is, in *my* opinion, wrong to dump her opinion on you in your grief, she, in her Ego, finds it power-filled to do so and, over the Internet, finds it safe and easy and delightful. She is the truly sad soul.
You are beautiful and spirit-filled, even in your grief and sadness.
I am so, so sorry for you tragic loss. You and I both know where you had your baby made know difference in the outcome. So if you were defending it, quit it. Defending it lessens the reality of it. She is one tiny person who means nothing in your life.
Much healing to you.
I send my love and light.
I'm sorry for your loss. But I'm afraid that there's every chance that if you were labouring in the hospital your child would be alive and fine now.
Fetal bradycardia happens every day on a busy labour ward. It's one of the true emergencies we see. In roughly 2/3 cases the heart recovers just prior to the C section. In the other 1/3 it doesn't, and you need to get the baby out fast. In my time I've delivered probably about 100 babies safely like this, with one dead and one brain damaged (both were out within 10 minutes). So you see time does matter. The extra 10 minutes you took to get to hospital would have made all the difference (you might live 3 minutes away but you didn't take 3 minutes to transfer - I can guarantee that).
Fetal bradycardia is the main reason that doctors don't like homebirth. It's not uncommon. Like shoulder dystocia or cord prolapse, your baby is screwed without medical intervention STRAIGHT AWAY.
I know that deep down you know your choices were for the worse here. You're obviously a deeply caring person, but your rejection of "the man" has led you down a blind alley. Best of luck for the future, but PLEASE don't repeat your mistakes as others here are encouraging you to do with their platitudes.
Well how is it that here in the Uk the government is proposing a massive increase in the number of home births and that the choice is available to all?
Based on evidence that in most cases a homebirth is safer?
Now how can that be that something that is such a "crime" can become standard practice just across the water?
Erin, I wish you peace and strength xx
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