Sweetest little bird, tiny little baby. You are always in my thoughts, and you have begun to make your way into my dreams. Perhaps you have been there for some time, but only now am I able to remember parts of my dreams...and you are there. You are there, but not always in your baby body. I have dreamt about telling people how you died, much like I do when I am not asleep and dreaming, but feel like I am. Like this life I live now is a surreal dream, and you are not dead. I think of you so often my sweet Birdie...but there have been times in this week that I went a few moments without a thought of you. That is something that I have begun to feel guilty about. It seems strange to be able to get to a place like that, and so soon after you have been gone. How could I not still be consumed by my thoughts of you every single second of the day? It seems as if I am moving to another place in my grief, and I understand that to be ok. One thing that has not wavered is my absolute devotion and love for you. Its so amazing and beautiful to love someone as much as I love you. I also find my love for you brings me closer to your Papa...and deeper in love with him. That is something I did not know I could feel, but I do. You have brought us this love, and I have no other words for the feeling it brings. The love I feel for you and your Papa is much like travelling to a new place, an awe inspiring place...a most magnificent place where there are no words to describe its beauty and how it makes you feel. It makes me sad to think that you will never get to see those kinds of places, you will never get to be inspired by the natural beauty that exists in this world. Or maybe you will, maybe your little spirit is right here with me and Papa...maybe you are sitting on my shoulder and you are not just living and growing in my heart.

I love you so much sweetest Birdie.

Love, Mama