nurse nina.

It's really the best thing to wake up in the morning to hear Holdyn say nurse nina with a big smile and great enthusiasm.

Have you guessed yet what nurse nina! could possibly be? well, it all started a little while back, when Holdyn used to ask for "nursies". He would ask to nurse saying, or at time exclaiming "NURSIES, NURSIES". Then one day, maybe 3 weeks ago or so....he started to call "nursies, "nina", and then that evolved into "nurse nina".

Since I have been really lousy about documenting in writing a lot of the things he says now, I wanted to be sure the document this here. Nursing is such an important part of our relationship, we are both so happy to have the sacred time together to "nurse nina!"

I know that I don't talk much about breastfeeding on this blog, or at least I haven't for a while. Perhaps I am still not so sure who is reading this blog anymore and I feel protective of those who might be newly grieved, those of us who have not yet been given the gift of a living child to breastfeed.

When I had to work at drying up my milk/stop it from coming after Birdie died it was devastating. No, it was so much more than that, I don't feel I have the words for how that felt. My whole body felt numb from my grief, but somehow my breasts felt alive, and the warm milk...it was there. I saw it everyday creamy and dried upon the cotton breast pads that I wore each night after removing the cabbage from my bra.

Now, more than 3 years later...milk pours forth from within me. It pours forth from my soul and all my being overfull with love (and all the rest of the amazing properties that make up breastmilk!) to Holdyn's still tiny mouth, though not as tiny as her newborn babe, swollen lipped mouth. This milk is a gift, it is a blessing, it is a miracle of nature and I am so thankful for each night/morn/afternoon/eve that my sweet little Holdyn asks for "nurse nina".

Thank you Holdyn.....we shall nurse nina for as long as you wish.

birdie bunny photography.




i am building this photography business out of love.
it's all about my love for my birdie, and bunny.

tell your friends! birdie bunny photography is for hire!

and so I begin with a photo.


i LOVE this photo...that brilliant overflowing sunshine over Holdyn is just lovely.

Once again my absence upon this blog has stretched over many days. In my haste to begin anew with my photo business, and spending full love filled days with my sweet boy has left my brain a bit disheveled in the evening, leaving me with little energy to form coherent sentences.

However, this night, even though I am completely exhausted I realize that I have not been documenting the gifts of Holdyns days as a toddler. At 1 1/2 he has changed so much. He has been repeating the things that we say for about a month or so now, but has begun to string words together and speak in sentences.

Holdyn now not only toddles and walks...but runs. He jumps (a really adorable little hop).

Just the other day he asked me to give nursies to his bunny, and just today asked me to give nursies to his toy train conductor or "mister"....as he needed nursies for his ouchie after falling out of the train car. I knew that these days would come, but now what they are here...I don't know why I am surprised that Holdyn asks me to nurse his bunny or train conductor, of course he would, because even bunnies need some nursies from mama, and nursies on an ouchie make it feel better (and the antibodies can't hurt either!).

More to come...because I have to document/write out our trip to the ocean a few weeks ago!