Grief On Display

So today I went to hang my photos, and it felt really good.

The person who invited me to participate in this Alumni show was my old photo professor. Someone who I look up to and admire greatly. However, felt very dissapointed by when he and the rest of the art faculty from my old school did not come to Birdie's wake or celebration of life ceremony. I grew very close to my photo professor and the rest of the faculty as it was a small art department. I could not understand why they did not come and give us their support, it broke my heart, especially since Matt started teaching Video Production there that fall.

Today I saw that photo professor, as he was helping everyone to install their work.

Afterwards he took us all to lunch, and he appologized to me for not being there. He appologized for the whole department in a way. I was honest and told him that I didn't understand why they weren't there. Again, he appologized.

We talked a bit about my photos and he expressed how powerful they are.... He said he would think that even if he did not know what they were about.

It was good to have that discussion with him. I miss those talks about my work, and how he sees it. I miss having that kind of understanding between me and my other creative peers. (By the way, none of the other Alumni asked me about my work, they didn't say much of anything.)

He also offered to me the use of the schools facilites, as he and the rest of the faculty want Alumni to work alongside current students. I shall take advantage of this, as this body of work will grow....it will grow for Birdie.

Now I have to write an artist statement, I hate writing artist statements. I can make the work.....but ask me to write about it? Ha! Usually, that is how I feel...but this is really different. I know what this work is about, I know where it is coming from...though I don't know that many people will, and thats fine. I want the viewer to look at the work first, then read my artist statement. I wll be writing that later tonight, the darker and quieter it gets, the easier it is for me to think. I will post it, and I would love your feedback.

I'm thinking about all of you so much, all the time. I carry you with me in my heart, I just want you to know this. I also want to say that even though this new body of work that I have begun is directly about me and Matt and Birdie, that I hope its ok if its about you too? There is so much anger, sorrow, fear and rage that went into creating these images....and I feel like they only begin to say what I feel so very deep in my gut and in my heart. What I am trying to say is, I am doing this work for all of us....ALL of us.


Birdie, I felt you with me very strongly today. So very strongly....and I still do.
Oh how I love you. My sweet little Bird.