Growing In Love.

This little boy...



This sweet little miracle of life and love is nearly 11 months old, and before we know it, he will be 12 months old. In the blink of an eye, my son will be one. It's no joke, that the days do go by very swiftly, though I still try hard to not let them drift away easily. Not without making sure each day is filled with fun, joy and boundless love.

This has been such an incredible year. A year of new life, and year of transition, of learning and growing. A year of loving and remembering, a year of bittersweet sadness mixed up, shaken and stirred with joy and hope and renewal.

This blog has been almost like a life-line for me at times. Without having the ability to write all my honest thoughts here and share them as I have and "hear" your response...or silence, I might not be as almost totally sane as I am able to be today. Though at times I may seem crass and harsh, my thoughts are raw, they are true and honest. I know that I might make some folks upset, and I apologize, I cannot help what is in my head sometimes.

Anyways, Holdyn is amazing...and he still looks like his sister. I will always think this, especially while he is asleep...he looks just like her. It's gorgeous to see, and gorgeous to hear each and every bellow of air that rises and falls within his lungs. I am still amazed by this.

I am thinking very much about Birdie these days, but having trouble finding the words to express my thoughts. I have been drawing a little bit when I can, that is helping me at the moment. When I have been thinking of Birdie, in my mind I see shapes...I don't know what these shapes are or represent, so I am trying to re-create them on paper. The drawings I have been able to get onto paper feel like they are the beginnings of something larger (very large scale drawings).





Anyway...it's getting late and I really, really want to snuggle up to my sweet little boy. So, I will close this post.

Goodnight. =)