So I was just over on the Mothering.com website when I saw that in this month's issue there is an article about what a stir Ricki Lake has caused with her "Business Of Being Born" film. Now, I haven't commented in a very, very long time about this subject for obvious reasons, but I have to chime in here. I understand (because I can remember the naive person I used to be) the very alluring and almost sexiness of the homebirthing world. Yes, it looks and feels and sounds so lovely and romantic almost, and is made to sound all the more that was by so many who are "A Part Of That World, and Way of Thinking". While I do feel that she has and had every right to make the film that she did, I also feel that it could almost become a dangerous tool of some kind. After all, she is a high profile celebrity who had a "beautiful" homebirth, that resulted in a live child! Women look up to her, women see this achievement and maybe to some degree are influenced against their (perhaps) better judgement to then have a homebirth, or "attempt" one. Now, I know that everyone has every right to decide for themselves, I do not mean to trample all over that. I just feel that it's a little dangerous what Ricki is doing...I mean because of all the hoopla, the medical community is now fighting homebirthing mothers even harder! The line of trust is being drawn even further and further apart. So, what will this mean for the next "former" homebirthing mother like myself?
The totally open minded woman who chose to trust her homebirth midwives with her life and that of her baby's? What happens when that next birthing woman is at home, and things become serious and the baby is in distress and they have to transport to the hospital? What happens when she shows up to the hospital and is perhaps not taken as seriously (than if she was a regular birthing paient) because the staff KNOWS she was "attempting" a homebirth and all went completely wrong?
I worry so very much for all those mothers for who this will happen to, and yes, it will happen. I was a statistic, and there will be others. I can only imagine the road Ms. Lake would be on right now if her homebirth went very wrong and her dear child passed. She would probably be a very loud advocate for all if US! Bereaved mothers everywhere would be seen and heard FINALLY! Not to mention that the danger that homebirth can bring would be exposed. Yes, it is dangerous, DON'T try and tell me otherwise because you will only piss me off. Birth can also be dangerous in hospital too, yes this I know, don't preach to me about that either.
What do you think about what Ms. Lake is doing? Does it ruffle your feathers?
By the way, I am doing well. Baby Bunny is doing well too. Last night he/she was flipping around, kicking punching with great force! This Bunny Rabbit is very rambunctious! If I seem like I am holding it together pretty well, well I am. Honestly like I have said before I just cannot dwell on the past and get lost in the negative. For me and for Bunny I must stay positive and be optimistic, even with all I now know. Matt and I started our Hynobabies class this week, for those of you who don't know I 100% recommend it for birth preparation. Already I feel just how much this class is going to empower me, allow me to TRULY relax and just allow my body to do what it is designed to do, and allow this baby be born. It's a 5 week course, and it comes with a good amount of self-hypnosis Cd's that I am supposed to listen to every day. I am obsessed with the "Pregnancy Affirmations" CD (I'm listening right now!), which has 150 positive pregnancy and birth messages on it (and the woman's voice saying them isn't annoying!). There is also a "fear release" cd, as far as I can tell that should help immensely for being able to let go some of my (and Matt's) subconscious fears about birth and Birdies birth. (It has been recommended that we also see a Hypnotherapist a few times to tap into that part of our subconscious minds, I'm just trying to find the right person)
*Hypnobabies is not the same as the Hypnobirth program/classes. From what I understand after reading many reviews/comparisions of the 2 programs, it is much more involved/detailed, and offers more self hypnosis CD's that are produced more professionally than the Hypnobirth program's Cd's. Again the class we are doing is Hypnobabies and I 100% recommend it!*
Check out there website and the birth stories that can be found there
16 comments:
Question for you (totally unrelated to your questions).... are you thinking about using cloth diapers for Baby Bunny? If yes I'd love to make you one or two to help get your stash started...... Just wondering
:-) Alison
YES!
We LOVE CLOTH DIAPERS!
Matt and I were totally excited to use them with Birdie, and we are excited to do this with Bunny!
How so super sweet of you!
CREATIVE GENIUS?
Do you know where I might find a manual for my SInger 503a? I have been trying to find a free copy, but all i find are one's that are NOT free.
Erin--I don't have kids but desperately want to some day. I did watch The Business of Being Born, but after reading your story with Birdie, instead of a homebirth this is what I have decided I want: I want a midwife-attended birth at a birthing center attached to a hospital. Or if there's not one near me, at a hospital itself. To each her own with the homebirth, but for me I'd rather play it safe and have a hospital birth.
Hi Erin,
Ok if you are comfortable doing so - please send me your address as to where I can send some homemade diaper and I'll get to sewing them! I remembered that you were going to use them with Birdie and I hoped you were still on the same page with Bunny - so I am so glad to see you are! Cloth diapers ROCK!
As for your singer - I would have said ebay, singer corporate (both not free)... or you can post a note up on craigslist/sewing mamas forum or there are a few others sewing mama type forums.... I can ask around for you but those are my best guesses (you can also look at the Salvation Army/Goodwill but that would be like finding a needled in a hay stack LOL)
My email is alreillygator@yahoo.com.... like I said I'll sew a few up for you and send them over! All babies should be diapered in cloth -- it's just so ... fluffy LOL
:-) Alison
I enjoyed the Business of Being Born and don't find the message dangerous, per se, but definitely agree that the positives of homebirth are focused on while the potential negatives are not. I think this was intentional on the part of Ricki Lake because there is so much negativity out there regarding homebirth and many women do not have real choice when it comes to making informed decisions having to do with pregnancy and childbirth.
I'm sure my opinion is also colored by my birth experience--we had a planned homebirth then ended up transferring to the hospital (non-emergency) for meconium. Our baby was born healthy despite the issues and need to transfer 'just in case.' I'm sure I'd feel differently had she not lived. I do applaud you for speaking up from the "other side" of homebirth. While I think for the most part that it is safe (just like most hospital births are also safe) there is potential risk there, despite the fact that it's not often talked about seriously.
I also wanted to mention that we have an awesome hypnotherapist out here (California) that is a former midiwfe and specifically focuses on birth experiences and the pain and emotion there. I can send you her info if you are interested. She does do phone work, I believe.
Best to you~ looking forward to hearing your joyful birth announcement in the fall!
I saw TBOBB with a group of my playgroup friends and they were all totally about the "all natural" and how doctors are taking that away and all that. I get it and I get how birth has changed in this country. I understand that scheduled c-sections are not good for the baby or the mother and are good for the bottom line--you are right, they should stop. Scheduled inductions the could easily lead to a c-section? Well...I will be offered one two weeks early. Probably so will you if you haven't already been...you know, "just to be safe." Is there anyone here at ALL who would ever question that choice? I could go on, but I won't.
I'm on our state breastfeeding coalition and of course run into die-hard natural homebirth people. One such person is a midwife who encourages each of her patients to at least "try" a homebirth--as if there is nothing to it. I say, try it ONLY if you are able to live with ALL the consequences of your decision. And that means ALL of them. Unfortunately, most people don't understand what those consequences could be...and that is hard.
It would be nice to have a celebrity who advocated for us, wouldn't it??
PS--Erin, we LOVE cloth diapers too!
I know friends of mine that gave birth to healthy babies, but then things quickly turned around and the babies had to be in the NICU. These friends, after that, frowned upon home births.
It's a scary, scary thing. Women need to REALLY educate themselves and figure out what they want in their birth experience. Of course as we all know, many times those plans get turned 180 degrees. Shutting out the medical establishment entirely, seeing it as the enemy, is incredibly shortsighted.
I think being in a hospital with monitoring is important. Births can be just as peaceful and important there as at home. And when things get tough or iffy, there is a greater chance of a happy ending.
So you are planning a VBAC? I too was very interested in hypnobirthing, having seen a special on it on some news show years ago. Unfortunately where we were living at the time, there wasn't much available in terms of classes. I think if a lot of time and practice goes into it, it can be an amazing thing.
I would just urge women to look at the statistics associated with whichever birthplace they choose. It is hard to accept but where there is life there is also death. We just all hope to be on the living, healthy side of the statistics.
Glad to hear you are looking to the positive for Bunny's birth. I too have heard great things about Hypnobirth.
Are there other things you need/want for Baby Bunny?
I think Ricki Lake has no clue. But her own little world. I also fear the homebirth catastrophes will come into my hospital and they have already started. We never used to get folks who tried to homebirth and should have transfered a lot sooner. But we do now....
I think Hospitals should provide early labor floors which are really just birth centers. They would be calm places where we would not do a lot of interventions but if you decided you need an epidural or develop a problem we could wheel you down the hall. I think it should be staffed mostly by Doulas. With nurses to do dop tones every so often according to Awhonn policy. If the nurse knows the doula and they have a relationship it will work out nicer.
I'm always troubled in times like these because I have a close friend who is a homebirth midwife (who has definitely opened my eyes)and yet I feel close to many of you mamas out here who have suffered such loss. As a plus size woman with a previous c/s I can tell you that where I live a VBAC wasn't possible without a homebirth and the treatment for my "health" based on my size is what lead me in my searching outside of "drs orders". In the end I had another c/s though and I'm still searching, still evolving in my birth philosophy.
In particular I don't really feel that Ricki Lake is doing anything wrong. She is sharing her viewpoint just like all of us. I really don't think that the hoopla around all this is because of her. She's not that big of star. It is about the way the media works in general. Having seen her on Jimmy Kimmel (really?) to promote the documentary it was just silly. They just made light of it all, I thought.
I just think it is all about information, doing the research and as someone mentioned being able to live with all the consequences. And I feel that we shouldn't blame homebirthers for promoting fairy tale images especially when I hear many a mother online talking about how in the dark they were about stillbirth/infant mortality even in a total medical model.
That seems to be the true point to me - making it to 12 weeks doesn't mean you end up with a healthy baby. That is the message that needs passed around, investigated, researched. Why is this swept under the carpet? Home or hospital?
Just my 2 cents. So very glad to see you've been able to focus on the positives with your little bunny. wishing continued peace during the rest of it, and through to a successful vbac
I hadn't heard about the documentary so i can't say much. I actually tend to stay away from this issue as the whole thing upsets me deeply (that is, more deeply than is reasonable). I was just visiting my mother in PA & homebirth is much in the news there these days -- i had a good deal of work to tune it out.
Also, I agree with hennifer about the need for more awareness about stillbirth & neonatal loss. I was totally clueless about the statistics even though i considered myself well-informed.
you can also check out www.pregnancybirthandbabies.com for more birthing stories, and don't forget to join the hypnobabies yahoo group moderated by Hypnobabies instructors. Lots of hypnobabies moms on there gathered together for support and encouragement. =)
You're going to do great Birdie's Mama. You already are.
As a mother of a living baby who was born 4 March 2007 at home at 10lbs 14 oz causing a 4th degree tear and some nerve spitting moments I believe in choice in health care. I'm thrilled to have birthed my baby in my own bed, but I strongly believe that each woman/couple should make that choice for themselves and for each individual pregnancy. I don't know if I'll birth at home for my next baby, but I do believe that it is a healthy and positive choice that women should have the responsibility to make. My body; my choice.
Blessings,
Maverick
I agree. My daughter passed on June 5th, after a homebirth. You have my sympathies on the loss of your little one.
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