YES To VBAC & I 100% support Mayan Mass.age
So, when I posted about Mayan Mass.age some of you also asked if I/we are thinking of VBAC for our next child. The answer is WE SURE AS HECK ARE!
I wanted a vaginal birth for Birdie more than anything! Well, we all know how that turned out. I do hope for a VBAC, as I know just how possible it is to have one. The hospital where I think that we will be next time is totally PRO VBAC, even the OB who performed my c-sec.tion. (I am able to have a VBAC, because I did have a horizontal c-sec.tion, the "bikini cut" if you will.)
As far as where to deliver, we are keeping our options open. So many mistakes were made at the hospital we were at, and I do feel some anxiety around this. It's just that I am hopeful that things will/would have changed with their policies and procedures after what happened. The truth is though, I don't know. I don't think that if I ask anyone there they will be able to tell me anything. I don't know that they are allowed to talk to us about it, and thats weird too. I am not totally sure about that, but the CNM that I used to be in contact with never gets back to me anymore, and I don't know what that's about. Maybe she has been told not to be in contact with me outside of the CNM office environment?
I just don't know.
There used to be another community hospital 20 mins north of us that had CNM's practicing there. For some reason, that hospital in the past year or so decided that they were no longer going to allow CNM's to practice at that facility. This has been a huge shock, and a blow to the community nearby the hospital. A rather liberal, hippy, sort of liberal yuppy community. Anyways, how this was allowed to happen I don't know, but its sad and I think its a terrible shame to take that option and choice away from mothers.
So, for our susequent birth we are left with two options:
1. Go back to the same hospital, with familiar CNM's & OB
2. Go to a much larger unfamiliar city hospital, with CNM's & lots of OB's
I am going to be doing more research into the #2 option, as we can't rule it out.
However I am not yet sure if they are PRO VBAC or not.
It is very clear to us that with a subsequent labor and delivery....that the baby is what is most important. I know that I have to let go of so called "ro.mantic notions" of birth. However, I will not let go of thinking that my body does know how to birth a baby, therefore I would like to still have some choices:
1. VBAC
2. VBAC in birth tub if this is an option
3. Freedom to move around while in labor, change positions etc.
4. NO drugs (unless the pain brings me back my scary memories of laboring Birdie in the hospital, and I become terrified and cannot relax)
5. Option to bring our own bedding (comforter, sheets, pillows, music, comfort foods etc.
6. Immediate bonding with baby, as long as baby is ok, wait to measure and weight etc. I just want for us to be able to hold that baby right away, to nurse right away, to nurse and hold baby as long as we want!
7. Not to feel rushed about anything
There are so many things to consider, to think about.
And I am not even pregnant yet! We have to wait 3 more months for that, DAMNIT!
12 comments:
I was only 'a little girl' when I fell pregnant. :o/
Good for you for planning a VBAC... I know people who have successfully and happily done it!
Out of interest, why do you put full stops in some words?
You might want to have a dr check your records before you plan on a VBAC. Some hospitals/drs/CNMs will refuse VBAC if you had the classical (vertical) incision that is usually used in emergency cases. They need to check your records because there are different types of uterine incisions and you can't tell from the skin scar which they used.
I had a c-section with my stillborn daughter and a VBAC with my live daughter. Non-medicated. It hurt like hell, but was a beautful experience.
About your dream, the one and only time I dreamed of my daughter alive, I was newly pregnant with her sister and didn't know it yet.
I totally applaude you with your decision on trying Vbac first. I am one that will admit I think I was stupid doing a repeat C (my OB said pelvis was too small)because now we've changed our mind of our family size. My OB will deliver she says till my body says no more but it's sad having to space kids and worry about rupturing. I'm sure if you search around, you'll find someone that will accomodate you in all the birth options you would like to have.
I'm sorry about the "young" family member being pregnant. I'm sure it does sting. Big Hugs!
So you had a vertical abdominal incision but a horizontal uterine incision? That's good! (Very unusual, but good!) I hope you are able to plan a VBAC. And I hope you have a very easy time getting pregnant with Birdie's baby broter or sister!
kari,
did you notice if in the days before and after the dream if you "felt different?"
how soon after you dreamt of your girl did you learn you were pregnant again?
I think that it so beautiful that you had that dream, while another miracle was beginning to grow within you.
Thank you for sharing this with me.
Birdie's Mama,
I had the dream about two or three weeks before learning I was pregnant again. We were waiting to try again, like you, so I wasn't expecting it at all. And didn't find out until I was at least 7 or 8 weeks. I woke up feeling sad, but comforted. The dream stayed with me, and continued to comfort me. When I found out about the new baby, it felt like a message from my daughter.
Anyway, I think about you a lot even tho I don't comment a lot. Your mystical way of viewing Birdie's life and death reminds me of me. I hope only the best for you.
Oh, should add we were waiting to try but weren't careful once or twice. My body was still so out of whack from the c-section, I was actually doing OPKs in anticipation of trying again. And they kept coming back positive for days on end. Turns out, it's because I was pregnant. I thought it was premature menopause!
Erin, you should really consider hypnobirthing for your next birth. It will help calm your fears and it will help you have the most comfortable and relaxed birth possible in the hospital.
I've supported close to 10 VBAC mamas using hypnobirthing at West Suburban Hospital here in the Chicago area. They've had such safe, empowering, and calm births for their babies. They have all used CNM's who are 100% pro VBAC birth (and waterbirth as well). I hope you can find practitioners like this in your area. You should contact Marie Mongan (founder of Hypnobirthing) because she is located out east (New Hampshire I think) and she can probably help you find a VBAC supportive practitioner. Her number is on the hypnobirthing website.
You should also definitely sign up for ICAN (support group for VBAC mamas).
You inspire me! on my first visit to the ob to check out the twins, i really wanted a natural birth. i knew it was risky b/c of the twins, but i never imagined that they would be born so early. I need to research VBAC in my area too. You are doing all the right things in preparation for conceiving Birdie's brother or sister. I am inspired by you!
I think you need to go in the direction your heart is taking you. If you want to have a VBAC, then research the hell out of it and do it! Sometimes it helps me deal with things to find out all the info. on something I can. It feeds into my control issues. I really don't know anything about the types of incisions and how they affect a VBAC, but I'm sure you can find a CNM or OB that will help you. The hospital I will deliver at doesn't use CNMs either which really stinks because I don't really like my OB, but I like her CNM. I think that woman may be avoiding you because she has a hard time dealing with losses, which stinks because she doesn't get that it just makes you feel worse. And don't feel guilty for thinking about a new baby. Birdie will always be your daughter, and you know she'd love to have a baby brother/sister. In fact I'm sure she'll be the one to send one your way when the time is right.
YES to VBAC indeed! As a fellow VBAC (ahem, illegal HBAC) mama, I applaud, support you, and give you mad, mad love.
I love the options you wrote down about birthing in a hospital to make you more comfortable. I need no reason why all of those cannot be accomodated.
And, I know you may have concerns as to feeling like you are rushing it by contemplating the next pregnancy, but I don't see it that way. I see it as you preparing: heart, mind, soul, body, baby. Preparation is so very important, allowing ourselves to expand, grow, breathe, be flexible and ready.
xoxo
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