11 months.
It's now been 11 months since our baby died.
What do I do with this?
What do I do with all this time that has just slipped by.
Each month seems to slip through my fingers faster and faster now.
Sometimes I don't know what to do with this. What to do with all these days. minutes. hours. seconds. I hate that this is my life. I hate that Birdie is dead. What more can I say. I don't know what to say. Why didn't this happen, or that? Why did she die?
WHY WHY WHY?
I am devastated and heartbroken, now and forever.
The one constant that will always remain is the incredible love for her. It grows with each day, minute, hour, second.
Birdie Love Forever and Always.
4 comments:
You said precisely my feelings these days....what the hell do we do with this? Where has the time gone?
and time goes on, but our love remains so heartbreakingly strong.
our daughters died...and why? for what?
I don't know why. I ask that question myself. I ask it regularly when people who would be wonderful parents come into the hospital because their baby's heart is no longer beating.
It is so bloody unfair. As a nurse, I want to relieve suffering. I feel so inept. I want to help but sometimes I just don't know how.
We take pictures. We wrap the baby up and encourage the Mom and Dad to hold the baby. We make hand and foot prints. We fill out stupid paperwork and we cry....
And we wonder why. Why these nice people who would be wonderful parents? Why these people who want and love this child?
I don't know why your baby was born still. This should have never happened to you and your family. It should never happen to anyone. I am so sorry it did.
Erin,
There is no way you could've known anything or done anything to prevent what happened, and you have done a great deal to heal along the way and it shows.
Hold on hon, you'll make it through. Somehow, someway, you will survive.
It has been awe inspiring to watch you mother your little one all these days, hours, minutes and seconds, Erin.
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